Where the Heart of a Ceremony Lives

When a family asks me to lead a funeral or memorial, I never forget what a privilege it is. These are such tender moments in life, when emotions are raw and memories are precious. My role isn’t simply to “do” a service, but to work with the family to create something that feels like the person they loved.

For me, the heart of a ceremony lies in capturing the real personality of the person. That’s where the truth of who they were lives, and that’s what people connect to. It’s not about a list of facts or a run-through of events, but about the little details that bring them back to life in people’s minds. The way they laughed. The phrases they used. Their habits, quirks, and the small but important things that made them unique.

It always begins with listening. I take my time, letting people tell their stories in their own way. Sometimes there’s laughter, sometimes tears, often both. I notice the moments when someone’s eyes light up, or when everyone joins in to finish a story. These are the clues that shape the whole service.

Once I have those moments, I weave them together into a narrative that celebrates the person in a way that feels real and honest. I make sure the family feels they recognise their loved one in every word, so that during the service, there’s that shared feeling of “Yes — that’s them.”

On the day, my job is to hold the space, guide the moment, and keep the flow so everyone feels supported. The right words, the right pauses, and the right tone mean people can remember, reflect, and connect.

A funeral or memorial is not only a goodbye. It’s a chance to let someone’s spirit shine one last time, through the stories and memories that will be carried forward for years to come.